Tag Archives: economy

Christmas Gifts I DON’T Want

Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you’ll be visiting this year with the economy being bad and all that. I imagine you had to downsize in the workshop and more than a few elves were probably laid off. I suppose you didn’t receive a government bailout, either. Your place wasn’t mortgaged was it? There were a lot of foreclosures this year. Maybe you’ve moved. Maybe you’re renting a place in the south where the heating bills are lower and not depleting our energy sources. Thank goodness for reindeer dust… I don’t think you could afford the gas prices to travel all around the world this Christmas year. They’ve been really high.

The last time I asked you for anything I was 7 years old. I was a little suspicious of you then and I’ll be honest, I’m not truly convinced now that you’re real. Maybe I shouldn’t even be writing you. After all, isn’t “santa” a rearrangement of the word “satan”? Anyhow, in case you are real and you still live at the North Pole and your business wasn’t forced to close and you get this letter… I decided to send you a list of Christmas gifts NOT to get me. Here it is:

1. Anything that has to do with housework… like a vacuum cleaner or swiffer mop. Any other time of the year I’ll appreciate a gadget that makes my work at home easier. But at Christmas it says you aren’t thinking of me. A gift like this isn’t really a gift for me… it’s kinda a gift for the house or for ANYBODY because as I’ve asked my family before “Why do you assume the housework is my job? Anyone here can do it.”

2. A Christmas shirt. Really, now. When can I wear it? At Christmas time. And if I’m opening gifts today, Christmas is over tomorrow.

3. Fruitcake. There’s such a stigma attached to it. Everyone makes fun of it. So I would have to wonder why you are giving me one and what you really mean by it.

4. Socks. Do I have to explain?

5. A Bath and Body Gift Basket. Unless its an expensive brand I would love to have but could never afford, forget it. We all know Wal Mart has a whole aisle of these ranging in price from $1 to $5. These are gifts you buy people when you don’t know what to get them. It screams impersonal.

6. A home made gift. I know, I know… its the thought that counts but usually they’re tacky and then I feel compelled to use them, display them, wear them, or whatever.

7. A puppy. Or any other pet or critter. Don’t assume I want the responsibility and expense of having an animal for the next ten years or so. Did you really think this would make a thoughful gift or did your dog just have puppies and you’re tying big red bows around their necks and trying to unload them on unsuspecting friends and family?

8. I don’t want anything that sings and dances or says “squeeze my hand” or “pull my finger”.

9. Nothing that has written on the packaging “As Seen on TV”

10. Fannie or Freddie stock

11. Clap on, clap off gifts

12. No “cha-cha-cha-cha-chia”. I don’t need a clay head sprouting green hair. I still have mine from last year.

Thanks Santa,
Befuddled and Bewildered

If you are one of the many people who wait till the last minute to buy gifts or if you’re just lost as to what to get someone, these links are for you. One is a gift generator. The other is packed full of gift ideas.
giftgen
Click Here For GIFT GEN

A good site full of ideas. Click Here
Look under the blue square that says submit questions.

Shoe Fly Pie and Apple Pan-Doudy

Shoe fly pie and apple pan-doudy.
Makes your eyes light up
and your stomach say howdy.
Shoe fly pie and apple pan-doudy,
I never get enough of that wonderful stuff.

The first thing I heard about when I woke up this morning was the shoes that flew past Bush’s head. So I had to watch the video. It barely missed him, didn’t it? He was quick. I don’t think he “got it” though. I know he’s down playing it but I don’t think he understands the insult fully.

The sight or touch of the soles of the feet is a grave insult in that culture. Even I know that. The jubilant Iraqis who whacked the fallen statue of Saddam Hussein with their shoes (April 2003) were subjecting the tyrant to the worst humiliation imaginable. I’m not going to go on and on about this. I only want to mention one thing… The reporter who was quickly wrestled to the ground said this as he flung shoe number one

“This is a gift from the Iraqis, this is the farewell kiss, you dog.”

And hurling shoe number two he added

.”This is from the widows, the orphans, and those who were killed in Iraq.”

And our wise and diplomatic leader responded by saying this

“It was a size 10 shoe that he threw.”

Later he told reporters Bush

“I thought it was interesting, I thought it was weird and unusual to have a guy throw a shoe at you but I… uh… I don’t… I…uh…I’m not insulted.”

Well, you should be.
Enough.

Bush
Random Bush Quotes
Throw A Shoe At Bush

Then I heard all over the radio about Bernard Madoff and his rip off scam. You know he was paying off the first investors with money he was getting from the more recent investors and it was our shakey economy that brought the house of cards down on him. I think the minimum you could invest was one million dollars. Is that what you heard? Aren’t these people suppose to be intelligent? Did Madoff not forsee the effect our unstable economy would have on his little scheme? I mean, he knows all about finances and investing and the big world of money and business. And these investors, with millions and billions of dollars, couldn’t they smell a rat or didn’t they research deeply into the whole thing before putting so much money into it? Now they’re crying “we lost our life savings.” I don’t understand.

I guess they’ll have to start buying generic brand items and include more chicken, beans, potatoes, and rice in their meal planning like I do. Boo Hoo for them. I’m sorry but I can’t muster up any sympathy for them. Even in their “poor” state they probably have more money than you or I will ever see. They might even have to start shopping at Save-a-lot. I was going to say Wal-Mart but now Wal-Mart shopping is a luxury for us. By the way, who has the new ad campaign that goes something like this… “The crummy economy is now your shop-ortunity” Is it Wal-Mart? Is the economy hurting you? Are you losing your home? Do you still have a job? Is everything pretty much the same and you don’t really see any significant changes to your lifestyle? I’m curious. I’d like to know. Maybe you’ve come up with some really creative and frugal ideas to make ends meet. If so, what are they?

But I wasn’t going to write about this. I was going to write about a second interesting tid bit of information I gleaned from the web about why people read blogs. I’ll post it soon. And I’ve got something I want to tell you about.